It's wasn't easy, everything is falling apart.

lifeskills did something about vision, what's working & what's not, what you would to improve.
i want to become a better person, to have a better future.
i failed my o's, like always i let my feeling to affect my studies .
i totally wasn't in the mood during o's .
now love life is really in a mess.

i dont wan to tell anything if any happens & how i feel.
i dont know why i love bottling up my feelings.
all i know is to cry, although it doesnt makes me feel better.
i am dumb/stupid, i tends to believe people easily.
i am always stuck in the middle, thinking who's words to believe.

i guess, my studies is in a bad situation, i dont have any motivation.
i dont have much friends in school like i used to.
i dont talk much in class/ school like i used to.
i dont like/love to joke & play around as much like i used to.
i feel i changed, to someone who is super independent, not in a good way.
i run away from all my problems, im afraid to solve it.
i always feel like crying, when someone ignore me.

i miss my friends, my closest friends.
they have move on to a later part of their life, be it ite/poly/jc.
they are happy & enjoying, i hate my life now.
repeating isnt easy, teacher tend to hate us alot & demand much more than the others.
i hate myself for not being smarter.
i hate myself for ending up in this state.
i know its all the past & i have to move on in my life.
i cant help cause something is blocking my way.

i pretend i am alright.

i pretend i dont pull back by any setback.

i pretend im am happy

but i am not.

i miss baby alot, he's busying with his stuff & seldom be in touch with him.
i love the times spent with him, i would not be stress up with stuff.
however, he treating me so differently now......
im just not a good girlfriend....

everything just falling apart, studies, family, love.

please dont go away,i need you now.

im deceiving myself.