@2.08am.
I hate waking up in the middle of the night in between my sleep , wake up thinking about the importance of money . I will feel paranoid , insecure , stress , then i will get out of my room , on my laptop and search for part-time job and send several resume before i could sleep .
It happens again tonight for the second/third time , i hate this feeling , i just want to get out of Sg if i could, migrate to anywhere to live , but of cause with my family and love ones. I feel like crying, i feel like i never do well in anything.
I feel that i'm such a mess, i'm not good for anyone............. well...
If money is not a problem , i will probably in SIM studying or some other private institution studying early childhood/accounting . I hate to work for people, but then again i want to have my own business, but no i don't think i could do it . Wanted to open a blog shop with my ex , then again call off the idea because the competition in the fashion/retail line was crazy and it got like worst over the years .
If money is not a problem , i could help my dad pay off his credits bills , damn fuck up with him over what he had done , but since what's done is done , then i hope things will get resolved soon.
If money is not a problem , i would want to help those in needs, those really elderly people who really need help , like company or financially , i would love to help them .
If money is not a problem , things would be better, life would be better, many things i could do to help others. i can't bear to see people suffer.
Okay , i'm talking nonsense here, money is never enough . i just need to learn how to be satisfied .
I just called sis , to calm myself down , i don't know why i got so work up out of a sudden .
This is probably the second/third time I've blog about this issue .
I'll be a better person , life will be better for everyone in 2013! :)
Things will get better , i need to tell myself that.
I am thankful for everyone that is in my life , especially my close friends, clique , family and R.
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A great day spent with R. ;)
love the food that he cooked, although certain dish i don't what are they but certainly they taste good.
Excited for something this weekend, it's somehow baking but not really bake though.
I still need to settle the alcohol i need, mum gave me alot of great alcohol, but since it's kept for so long i think i better not use them.
Hopefully it will be a success , i never try it before . ;)
